He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
