I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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