How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Randomize
