At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
thus making me awesome and them whores
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize