I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
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