His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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