I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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