doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
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