yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
