you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I am one with the molecules
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
