we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
