I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
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