If that was your dad, he is hot
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
