anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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