dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
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