I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Randomize
