so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
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