so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize