So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
