it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
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