If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
We got so high we made milksteak
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
So vagazzling was a success
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
