It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
