Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
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