alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Randomize
