Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Randomize
