I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
