Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
