if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
