carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
