how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
