in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
