if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Randomize
