Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Randomize
