my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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