You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
