I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Randomize
