Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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