No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
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