I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
