Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
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