Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
