i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
