she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
You left your underwear on the fireplace
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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