dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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