And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
