the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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