I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
