In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
