This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
