Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
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