I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
