I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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