There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
