That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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