my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
