She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
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