Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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