Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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