An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
