We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
