The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
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