1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Randomize
