You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Fuck me I smell like cheese
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
