So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Randomize
