i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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