i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
