My brain says no but my pants say off.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
