You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
