You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
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