operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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