I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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