hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
