Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
you didnt know i had herpes?
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
