I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
