I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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