before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize