I'm drive I can fine osifer
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
