you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
