i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
It all started with a game of naked twister.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
